fiddledeedee32If you have a child with sensory processing disorder, autism, among other conditions, chances are you have had to deal with a breakdown here and there. More than a few? Me too.
You’re out grocery shopping or eating lunch, maybe enjoying a latte when out of nowhere your child starts getting upset and crying, hitting their selves, and so on. People start staring at you and wondering what the problem is. They don’t understand and some even start to judge you. Every once in a while, (and I mean like, almost never) someone will ask if they can do anything to help. Bless their heart.
You try and keep your composure and not totally breakdown yourself.
You try, what I like to call , the Hug Hold, you try to sooth him with a soft voice or even humming softly in his ear. Next thing you know you start breaking a sweat and getting out of breath. Finally you give up and jump back in the car as fast as you can and drive away. After a few minutes of assuring him that it’s ok and trying to talk him though it, he stops. He’s happy as can be.
Now that’s it’s over, you’re feeling the aftermath and can’t hold it in anymore and burst into tears. Just let it all out. You go and hug your child while you cry and tell him you love him and somehow you feel like you’re a horrible parent because you couldn’t calm him down. I have been there!! If you’re feeling all the feels, you my friend, are a loving, caring parent! Hug yourself and give a pat on the back! Now, if you weren’t feeling it, that’s when I would worry!
You’re here reading this blog because you want answers, tips, and to know you’re not alone. Honey, you’re absolutely not alone! I am going to share with you a few things that have helped me over the years. Do we still have breakdowns? Yes, and we possibly always will. It’s not about stopping them, but about how to deal!
First thing that I can say is this. Don’t let your child feel your stress. This is so important! If they feel that vibe, it will stress them out even more and cause more of an outburst, and ultimately, making it harder for you! Trust me, I know that’s a tough one, but we just have to learn to stay calm. It does make a difference!
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, sometimes it’s best to “tap out”, ask your partner to trade places with you. They can come in calmly with a fresh outlook and give you a chance to calm down yourself. Sometimes you may need to switch with each other several times, but it is extremely helpful!
Next, I know this is a hard one too sometimes, but, don’t worry what other people are thinking! If you’re concerned about that, you aren’t going to be fully focused on your child. Which is what he needs. Let people think what they want, they aren’t what matters.
Try taking along a cool compress. Pick up an insulated lunch bag and throw it in there. If you see an outburst coming on, pull that out and apply it to his face, arms and even legs. Sometimes that will help sooth him and even prevent a full blown breakdown!
Carry along a Chewy tube! They start acting out, give it to them to bite and chew on! Hopefully that gives them an alternative rather than causing a serious injury! There are several styles, colors and textures to choose from. I would recommend a couple of different textures. You could also use a pacifier clip and clip it to their shirt so that it is easy for them to grab on their own! We have gone through so many of these over the years. They are great and so worth the money!
Here is a link!
Benefits of Autism Chewies (autism-products.com)
Something you can and should do that will help you out, make a list of triggers. When you see a trigger write it down so you know what to look for. That way you will know when it’s about to come on! Seriously, be prepared!
If your child is in a wheelchair or stroller, I would suggest you always have a pillow and even a pool noodle cut into pieces and placed over the bars and/or rough parts on the chair that they could get hurt on. The last thing we want is for our child to get seriously injured. Here are a few pictures just to give you an idea what I mean.
Now when it comes to shopping. I love the curbside pickup option!! This is my go-to for groceries. It’s so simple and so convenient! You simply shop for your food online and choose a pickup time and place. When you go to pickup, you just sit in the car and they load up your groceries, then you’re off! This is great when you have kiddos alone, but when your child is having a bad day, it’s a lifesaver! I also like to shop Amazon. Birthdays, Christmas, or any type of event, even school supplies. You name it!
I’m a homebody so I don’t really like going out to shop anyway. (Except for the occasional Hobby Lobby or Dollar Tree haul!)
I hope that I was able to help you today and fulfil your reason for coming here. Parenting is hard! It’s good to know that we have each other’s backs! If you ever need to chat, please, feel free to email me. Really I would love to hear from you and make a new friend! Until next time!
All my love,
Angela xoxo
